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1/10/2021

The unplanned family vacation



So finally, the longest unplanned family vacation comes to an end.It started with entire panic-stricken cavemen family staying indoors and watching Ramayana together with the hope that summer heat, the beating of utensils and anti-Chinese clay diyas would kill the virus. While we were falsely busy blaming Tablighi-Jamaat for all the menace in the country, I managed to give a terrible haircut to my father, and he was equally glad to return the generosity.

 As the summers approached and Amitabh Bachhan started spamming our mobile phones, we managed to sneak our way to the hills unlike the poor migrants with all our comfort and dignity. The mountain escape was indeed a blessing in disguise to get a respite from the scorching heat and mundane city life. Lots of time to in lap of nature, more conversation with family members and minimalist life was indeed therapeutic.

As the coronavirus grew stronger over time, there were a few personal economic and career-related jitters, although very small in comparison to all the cash starved MSMEs and other small businesses. The college decided to go online and the value addition with every passing class seemed to have diminishing marginal utility, it gave me the freedom to attend classes that mattered and rather read what I believed would serve some purpose in life. The learning curve could have been more enriching, had Rhea not insidiously planned to drug the heavenly Sushant Singh Rajput and somehow we could muster to let go of the grapevine and discussed some inconsequential yet momentous 26 % fall in the GDP.

However, even in tumultuous economic times, was fortunate and managed to get a decent job amidst all the doomsday predictions. More importantly, survived COVID-19 in the covid hotspot of the nation with incessant efforts to boost immunity with Yoga and a healthy lifestyle.

With a lot of free time to spare, could connect and meet some good old friends. It always feels as fresh as yesterday and all the memories come alive even though you meet after aeons and are continents apart.

As the festivals passed by, and winter approached, finally the fear had lost its resistance and was just a daily number in the small byte of daily news. The winter now had its own perks, could sleep long hours at own will, drink multiple cups of green tea and gulp down freshly made orange juice.

While this extended holiday comes to an end, sometimes the worst of times could have good memories. May we need not live through another pandemic but otherwise realise that the ordinary lived with simplicity in itself is very beautiful.




12/07/2016

Kidnapped in the tide of time

                                                              


Prologue

She again tried to pursue me with her innocent puppy looks and said that it was just a matter of 5 minutes. I again refused assertively. I smelled something fishy and asked her what was in the bag. She said “It’s just my normal stuff” . I denied again. The couple started a small quarrel amongst themselves. I was just about to make a move from there, when suddenly a heavy hand landed on my shoulder and grabbed me by my neck.

Chapter 1

5:10 PM ,5th Decmber,2016
Delhi, Connaught place.

Unpredictability is the law of nature .Gazing at the long queue of people at SBI ATM in Connaught place, I was wondering at the helplessness of common man. A bold positive sudden move by a charismatic leader had brought the country to a standstill. Some people were compliant to it and happily accepted it as mark of patriotism, while others just grudged about it.Well this wasn’t an evening to discuss political matters. To break the monotony of my study schedule, I had planned to meet my cousin and then a couple of my friends.
I was waiting for my cousin Ritesh in front of Gate No 8, Rajiv Chowk metro station. It was just a matter of few minutes that he would have been there and we would have a spent a non-eventful Monday evening. But destiny had its own plan.
A young couple approached me and the girl asked me if she could borrow my phone to make a call .Unalarmed, I said Yes . The girl had wheatish looks and was well dressed, looked like any other girl whom I would have offered my seat in the metro .The boy was tall, lanky with thin moustache. His body language had arrogance which would make Honey Singh jealous.
She dialed a number and handed over my phone to Honey Singh jnr. He looked tense and had short conversation with someone .He didn’t bother to thank me and just handed the phone back to me.
I ignored and started having conversation with another stranger who looked grieved with demonetization move .A few minutes later, the girl approached me again and said “ Would you look after my bag ?I would be back in 5 minutes.
I looked at the girl and then the pink glossy bag with hello kitty stickers on it. Both looked too cute to be explosive but I still blatantly said “No, I am waiting for my cousin and I will be off any moment”
She again tried to pursue me with her innocent puppy looks and said that it was just a matter of 5 minutes. I again refused assertively. I smelled something fishy and asked her what was in the bag. She said “ It’s  just my normal stuff” . I denied again. The couple started a small quarrel amongst themselves. I was just about to make a move from there, when suddenly a heavy hand landed on my shoulder and grabbed me by my neck.
Three middle aged men dressed in civil dress were escorting the couple whereas I was being dragged by an iron fist .The adrenaline levels in my blood spiked. I asked my captor why I was being handled roughly. He said “ Jyaada Shaana mat ban.Chup chaap chal”
Holy fuck! Cognitive narrowing had already set in, I had lost my ability to reason .I was being pulled away ferociously .I started shouting for help at the top of my voice. Was I being kidnapped in the middle of Connaught place with day light still intact? While I was being pulled away, people gathered around me as if a witch in rural India was about to be set on pyre. No body made any move they just walked along with me. I saw a KFC outlet in front of me, the chicken in there would have felt a little more brave than I felt in there. Helpless I kept shouting for help. I felt a little relieved when a man dressed in police uniform came near me but my excitement was as short lived as Shahid Afridi’s stay at the crease. He said to me “tujhe thane le jaa rahe hain !kidnapping kari hain tune.”
Holy fuck again! In a transition of 5 minutes, my role was changed from Delhi’s Aam Aadmi to a victim and now a criminal! Hollywood movies and advertisements in newspapers had instilled a belief that police would flash their identity card or arrest warrant before arresting but real life had its in own anomalies.
 I said” I would co-operate you  bas mujhe ID card dikhado”.
Man in Uniform (pointing towards himself)said “ itni bada main ID proof na dikh raha tujhe”
Man 2(flashing his pistol): Ye dekh hathiyaar , aur kuch bhi dekhna hain kya tujhe?
While a pragmatic mind in one’s senses would have adhered to the norms, but this sudden upheaval in my life had made me lose my belief in the entire system of normalcy. I had doubts whether they were real police because four out of five were not in uniform; neither were they showing their ID cards. Any goon could have also possessed the weapon and tailoring a Khakee uniform was not much expensive.
Gaining some sense, I said:  Sir, mujhe mere papa ko call karne do.Main unko inform kar deta hu aap mujhe kahaa le jaa rahe ho.(Although still unaware where I was being taken to)
At lightening quick pace, one man grabbed the phone from my hand and another one whacked a slap on my face. I was petrified and still confused .Responding to my survival instincts, I started shouting my father’s telephone no with a grim hope that someone would inform him where was I was being taken to. People just watched, nobody twitched a muscle. The KFC chicken in the backdrop seemed the bravest amongst us all. I was pushed into the rear seat of white Bolero.


Chapter 2

5:18 PM, Inside the Car
Seated inside the car, I was expecting a white handkerchief drained in chloroform to come up at any moment. Instead they started celebrating amongst each other.
Man 1:“Arre waah Sir! Maan gaye aapko! Kya pakda hain “
Man 2:“SHO sahab ko bata dijiye, aap ke to number pakke”
(My phone rings, Ritesh Bhia calling)
Man 3(addressing me): Ye ritesh kaun hain ladke, ye bhi tumhare saath mila hain kya?
I said “ He is my brother , I came here to meet  him”
Man in uniform picked up my phone and said” isko Kashmiri gate thane le jaaa rahe hain, wahi aakar baat karna”
A huge sigh of relief set in. At least I was not being kidnapped. At least some one knows my location. These are real cops .It feels better to be in a lockup than to be kidnapped and kept hostage in an unknown location. And I knew that somewhat temporarily skewed planetary position in my horoscope won’t affect my Karma too much.
“Sir, I am innocent and would cooperate with you in interrogation” I said firmly to the man in uniform.
I showed my ID on his request and narrated the entire scene. He then asked a few more questions about my educational qualifications and family heritage. It felt more like an interview with potential father in law. Somehow I managed to satisfy his never ending sarcastic questions but he still had some iota of doubt left.
Cop: “Achaa tu science student hain, to ye bataa ye remainder theorem kya hoti hain??”
I was amused at this intellectual question; I never expected all my years of studies would boil down to this question.
Everybody in the car was gaping at me as if some heavenly words would be spoken from my mouth.
“Sir, Dividend =Divisor into quotient + reminder.”
In a parallel universe, Euclid in heaven would have weeped for this answer and Newton and Pythagoras rejoiced that they were spared from this humiliation.
The crowd rejoiced by my answer, another cop said ”humein to pehle hi pata tha ye ladka Kalaakar hain.Ye bata tune Cp mein  itni nautanki kyu kari??
I said “Sir all of you were dressed in civil uniform and no one showed me his identity card”
The man in uniform got enraged” tujhe main Khakke wardi mein US police lag raha hu kya?Aur hum police uniform mein aate to ye laila majnu bhaag na jaate waha se”
I rest my case,I  didn’t wanted to further angry them, neither I wanted to be behind the bars for false allegations. Shawshank redemption has already been made. I apologised for my behaviour.
 They returned my phone and I called my brother Ashish. He assured me of his and ritesh bhia’s presence at the jail. Sometimes moral support works like a magic wand. A friend who is ready to take punch along with you is better than 1000 Facebook friends with pouted pictures.

Chapter 3:

8: 30 PM, Kashmiri Gate police station

The girl was taken to women cell. The boy was behind the bars, giving arrogant answers and filthy smile to women police .He had tough time awaiting him at the midnight, meanwhile situation was under control . My brothers were there with me. I had informed my parents about the incident. They were calm and sounded strong. The police had been pacified. They already had offered me tea with some lame jokes.
 But why was I here at the police station with no fault of mine?? The girl was a minor and she was trying to elope with the arrogant Honey Singh Jnr. He used my phone to call her dad and ask ransom money so that they can fund their future honeymoon. The cyber cell had tracked the location of my phone call and caught us just at the right time (though wrong for me). She might have been in love with guy, but you really can’t trust what mala fide intentions the boy or the fate had for her. She could have been pregnant in a few months or trafficked to some other country or nothing could have happened. 
But Indeed the police had done a great job; she would be back to her home in less than 24 hours .Although I would have been happier if I was handled more smoothly, but I guess the police doesn’t treat a potential lead with gentleman’s behaviour.  May be the job demanded that. Being a cop in India is not easy, with low pay perks and strenuous working hours. And unlike Indian army the job sometimes doesn't get the respect it deserves. These are fertile grounds for Corruption and complacency to breed.
I was called by the sub inspector to pen down my witness statement.  I wrote it down fast as I could sense that my freedom was near. I handed over the letter to him. To my surprise he said”
“Animesh, thanks for cooperating with police and I apologise for slapping you.”
Well those words from a man deeply drenched in power lust and patriarchal ego somewhat healed my wounds. I smiled back, and left the place.
Well it was not one of those days which you would like to script in your lifetime but it left me with a few deeply entrenched lessons.
In those few moments where I was pleading for help, no one even just stepped forward to enquire what was happening? Everybody was mute spectator, although I could sense that few wanted to help. May be that little gesture would have helped me to regain my composure. I can now understand and empathise with helplessness of the oppressed victim. May be someday I l try to get out of comfort of air conditioned car and help the oppressed or injured on the road
Well old saying goes that mom told me not to talk with strangers, but I have been interacting with strangers throughout my life and have learnt a lot about their culture and human psychology. One needs to be a little more careful in the crime capital but it should not deter one from lending your mobile to someone in ailing condition or in other emergency. We all have done it numerous times and the probability of mishap happening is as low as Salman khan’s car hitting you when you are walking on the pavement.
I have not read Barney Stinson’s bro code and neither any one of my close brothers but we all have some basic traits ingrained and it is better to have a handful of good friends than a dozen of beer hangout friends. Because a brother in need is a brother in deed.
And the most important of them all, -We all have a chicken inside, and it’s natural to have negative emotions of fear, jealousy, hatred etc. But what matters is that you accept and acknowledge it and kill that chicken inside as fast as possible rather than live with it through your lifetime.

                                                     Be Bold, Live Strong!




4/04/2015

Ohh Womaniya: Feminism Or Sexism? Your choice!


The latest Vogue video starring Deepika  Padukone has already created some upheaval in the social media and why it should not?  After all it talks about one of the most sensitive and important subject in the country .As our honorable leader of opposition Mr.Rahul Gandhi says
“Our prime Concern is women empowerment”

Since time immemorial, various civilizations across the world have  treated women as the weaker sex. From Chinese binding women’s feet to judge their beauty in 10th century to a super girl Malala Yousufzai being brutalized in  21st century  for education. Women have seen the worst times.

I personally believe that human emotions are like a mechanical spring. “The external force might succeed in suppressing it for some time, but as soon as the spring gets a chance, it will bounce back and it will bounce back really hard and strong in an uncontrolled manner”

The modern women have started fighting for her rights and freedom and this is one of the brightest omens that we can witness today. But there is a fine difference that separates empowerment and armament.

When there are two lines of different lengths. There are two way to make the shorter one equal to the longer one.

First way is to address and fight for real issues like domestic violence against women, a girl’s right to choose and pursue her dream career, give her freedom to choose her life partner and having an equal say to come out of a toxic relationship with dignity, equal opportunity to rise at workplace based on skill and many more issues under the sun. It slowly but surely increases the length of the shorter line. This is empowerment or feminism for me. It can be worked out and accomplished mutually by both the sexes. It will help both the sexes develop mutual respect and love for each other.
The second way is to go out and blatantly shout “It’s my way or the highway”. I will oppose anything and everything that this stereotype patriarchal society opposes in  order to establish my superiority and satisfy my false womanly ego. A fake freedom to prove that a woman also has the same rights to commit the same  mistakes or sins that a man does. It shortens the longer line. This is sexism for me. It might promote equality but it will surely lead to a chaotic and unstable society. A society with mutual hatred and competitiveness.

Its Your Choice to choose which way you want to promote and achieve equality.

`




1.Its Your Choice to wear whatever you want
But I would personally choose not to wear a pair of my football shorts to my office because I feel it’s always decent to dress according to the occasion and the crowd until the crowd has slowly evolved enough over the years to accept the change. I would rather choose to dress classic and look suave than be raunchy.

2.It’s your choice to be size zero or size 15
But rather than flashing my bones or my beer belly I would rather choose to have a healthy body. Being healthy never hurts.

3.It’s your choice to have sex before the  marriage or outside the marriage.
But I would personally choose to be loyal with someone whom I have vowed to be my life partner.I wont cheat on you because I know it will hurt me if you cheat on me.

4.It’s your choice to love temporarily or lust forever.
But I never met anyone who fell in love with someone with an intention to love temporarily, neither did I. Although the flames may smother down with time due to incompatibility, but you never chose to love temporarily, it just happened.
To lust forever???  Yes its your choice, but I am not really sure whether it will be your choice if you end up in a psychiatrist’s clinic, a sex rehabilitation center or in worst cases behind the bars.

5. It’s your choice to love a man or woman or both.
Nobody has a choice in it. It’s something as natural as being a left handed or right handed person. Just be mature enough to not hurt someone’s unconventional love inclinations.

6.Its your choice to come home at 4 in the morning.
Yes it is again your choice. But being a brother, father, friend or a lover, I will always be worried about your safety until unless I am assured that you are in a safe environment.

7. It’s your choice to have my baby or not
My 10th standard biology teacher taught me that sexual reproduction of human beings requires two opposite genders, so my common sense tells me that the decision to raise a baby or not should also involve both the people. Grammatically speaking, it’s not “your” baby, it should be our baby.

8. Your pleasure may be my pain; it’s still your choice
But as a human, if I know something that I do will cause you pain, I will choose not to do it or at least try my best to not rub your wounds. But again it’s still your choice.

Spider man 3 last Quote
“Whatever comes our way, whatever battle we have raging inside us, we always have a choice. My friend Harry taught me that. He chose to be the best of himself. It's the choices that make us who we are, and we can always choose to do what's right.”

Well to conclude, I know it still ain't the best time and women empowerment has to go a long way. But trust me, Chivalry ain't dead. There are still many gentlemen in the society, I have met a few and would love to be like them.  Blaming every man won’t help the cause.
“It’s not a war of superiority, it’s a revolution for equality”

  




8/31/2014

Rendezvous with the God -Ganesh Chaturthi at Pune

Chapter 1:The Beginning

It would have been just another day for me if I was in Delhi or Chennai but I was in Pune, cultural capital of Maharashtra and to skip Ganesh Chaturthi celebrations would have been a sin.So after a lull morning, I decided to put on my traveling shoes and head towards Dagdusheth mandir.One of the most revered Ganesha shrine at Pune and the one which was bombed most recently.
I stepped out to explore the city. I walked steadily to my destination. It was drizzling at a lousy rate, but the exuberance everywhere outweighed it. The entire city was draped in Ganesha celebration .Kids and women dressed in traditional clothes, men wore white ganpati caps .Speakers shrieked praises to lord at high decibels. Every nook and corner of the city installed Ganesha altars. Swarm of devotees engrossed in singing and dancing to the Dhol beats.

“Moriyaa moriyaa moriyaa ho..bappaa moriyaa….” .And then some more -“Moriyaa moriyaa moriyaa ho..bappaa moriyaa….” Continues and fades….

The atmosphere was euphoric.

Chapter 2:The journey




 I walked further and reached Kasba pet. Another famous Ganpati mandir.It was surround by a dozen of  pandals showcasing myriad of ganesha idols in different sizes and forms. Ganesha as Krishna,ganesha as Sai and budhaa and many other avatars and postures.
I am yet to figure out whether it was just a marketing gimmick or a message that God is one.
                                  




More I walked towards my destination, density of flesh and bones grew larger and larger.Reminded me of Chandini chowk at delhi and Mamblam at Chennai.No doubt we are steadfastly moving to become most populous human species in the world.

Closeby,A Ganesha altar was being carried to its destination, surrounding it were few men and women,dressed in white with saffron bands dancing their heart out with the dhol beats. The beats were loud and strong. A dark moustached man with intense look started raising a long double triangular saffron flag. With every inch advance of flag,drum and dhol beats  flared up. Louder and stronger.


“Dham dham dham dhoo. Dhamm dhamm dhammm dhoo”
Louder and stronger! Louder and stronger!

“Dhammmm dhaammm dhammm dhammmm dhammmmm”

It was a war cry. As if the great Shivaji with a blood red tilak on his forehead was preparing to walk out for a war. As if he was unleashing his lions for the battle. Adrenaline rushed, with an imaginary sword at my hand, I felt like a warrior. The Maratha warrior.


Chapter 3: The Darshan

The warrior inside me braved the crowd and moved towards my destination. I could see the tech savvy souls clicking Ganesha pictures before their eyes could capture it.

 “Moriyaa moriyaa moriyaa ho..bappaa moriyaa….”


Slowly and effortlessly, with the crowd I moved towards the idol.A 12 x 8 feet, larger than life elephant god’s idol placed in huge altar dressed opulently with silk and gold. Yellow light illuminating from all directions creating a halo effect. Mouse,modaks and muse at his feet. Calm yet powerful look on the face.
Before I could make a wish or offer a prayer, I was thrown out of the epicentre. 

Chapter 4: The WTF!

I was greeted by smells of vadapavs,lassi and modaks.But it was intriguing to find another crowd of men,gathered at a single shop.
It read:

Ganpati Lottery store (Maharshtra government authorised)


It looked like Indian version of casino. People with meagre wages and high gambling instincts gathered to play Matka.A table with images named Gaay,geend,surya etc etc.people placed their 10rs bets on the object.Lucky one stole the show.
There were lottery tickets as well. A guy with burdened look on his face said to sky

“ganpati bappa,iss baar lottery laga dena”.

Then to the vendor

“Teen 20-20 ke tickets de re..Do Maharshtra ke aur ek Sikkim ka”
After he finished his ritual, I went to him asked: - “Bhia isme kabhi kisi ka lottery lagta bhi hain??
He said:- Aee chicknee tu in sab se duur reh re..ENJOY LIFE! ENJOY!!

And he rushed away on his bajaj scooter with the golden tip.

(Fading voice) “Moriyaa moriyaa moriyaa ho..bappaa moriyaa….”

With some time to spare ,I walked a few steps away and asked a Ganpati cap seller
“Bhia ye shanivar vaada fort aaj khulla hua hain kya??
He replied “Haa.Khulaa hua hain 5 Baje tak.Par kya karoge jaake??
I enquired “kyu bhia..?? Fort dekhunga”
 He asked “Tumharee saath mein bandi hain kya??”
I said  “Nahi…”
He replied “ To faydaa nahi hain, baaki couples ko bhi disturb karoge aur unhe dekhkar khud bhi disturb hoge”.
Tu kaha se hain?? Teri awaaz se Pune ka nahi lagta,isliye tujhe advice diya,nahi to main Marathi logo ko nahi deta.
I said, “Main delhi se hu”


 God, gambling, racism, aggression and lovemaking co-existed in hundred meters of radius.

Chapter 5: The Enlightenment


As I walked away, I came across an old building with a runty single room house at the ground floor with tattered walls, rain water gushing inside .It was jam packed with a steel almirah , a single bed ,a stove and a newly bought clay Ganesha idol.
They were praying exuberantly with vigor. The house had as less space as a mouse hole , a small girl even stood outside the house to pray. Still they looked happy and satisfied.
It rained heavily. Shell shocked, perplexed, I was there for a long time. What has God given to them? Why are they still believers? Why do they spend a chunk of their earnings in prayers?
Sometimes god is neither found in the holiest shrines, nor he is found in richest households. he is sometimes found within the hearts of humble unattached souls.
He is found in the form of hope that tomorrow will be a better day.
When you possess nothing, he is a possession.
When nobody cares about your existence, he is a belief that at least your creator is bothered.
He is found in the form of a friend, with whom you can share your deepest troubles.
He is found in the form of love that unites you with your loved ones.
He is also found in the form of forgiveness for the wrongdoings that the world has done unto you and in the form of repentance for your mistakes.
He is also found in the form of gratitude, for whatever little you possess.

I thanked Ganesha idol in the small house and moved on !





5/27/2014

Why I became a vegetarian?





It’s been almost six months now since I became a plant eater, but the upheaval it has created in my social circle is still afresh. My reception at home has not been a very pleasant one. Every relative or friend I meet, tries to convey me with his own unique theory to switch back to killing animals. 

“Beta,abhi to tumhaare khaane ke din hain,50 ke baad chood dena”
“Thoda thoda khaana chahiye,jyaada mat khao”
“Ye jaanvar to bane hi marne ke liye hain”
“Non veg na khaane se insaan,dheela ho jaata hain”
“Lagta hain iska kisi vegetarian tamil Brahmin se chakkar chal raha hain”

When words don’t work, they seduce me with every mouth-watering chicken dish available in this planet.  Apologetic looks from others, sometimes gives me nightmares that my hands and legs are chained and others are trying to stuff the chicken leg piece into my mouth. If such a frugal act can create such a fuss, I wonder what will be the situation if I declare celibacy or elope with an outcast girl.

So why did I quit eating non vegetarian food??In real sense, I have not quit anything. you actually never quit anything,you just move to a higher level.Suppose now you own a Maruti 800.In some time if you become financially affluent, you might buy a Honda city, and in later run you might own a BMW.Does it means you have quit Maruti? No, you bought a BMW because you are competent enough to drive maximum happiness out of your life. Similar is the case with me.

My happiness was defined and limited to chicken. Party for me was synonymous with chicken. A Paneer on the table instead of chicken would drop my endorphin and dopa-mine levels. Earlier it was my taste buds that received sensory happiness. Now I drive a better happiness.

There is a greater satisfaction that I am being compassionate towards animals, a sense of gratification that I care for my health and not knowingly imposing myself to deadly diseases, gratitude towards the mother earth and a feeling of service towards poor.
If you understand it, well and good. Otherwise, Kanna please keep calm and at least respect my constitutional “Right to eat” (If it exists)

Go green!


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